Gadgets are great aren’t they? Little pieces of technology that make our lives so much better and simpler and the technology industry just keeps throwing them at us. Aren’t we lucky, hey? But what about all those things that somehow made it past the design phase and managed to get out into the commercial world yet none of us have a need for them? Not all tech is as handy or useful as its creator thinks and there are many gadgets out there that will leave you asking just one question: why?
Don’t get me wrong, there are probably many people out there who feel that they need a spoon that tells the time or a device that makes their boiled eggs square but if you really stop and think about it; are these gadgets actually making the world a better place or just getting in the way of things that actually could? Well perhaps this piece will act as some helpful tech PR on behalf of the companies that made these gadgets; or perhaps it will just highlight exactly how pointless they are.
1. Pizza Shears
I’m not saying that kitchen gadgets are useless because some of them can make cooking exciting for even the most uninterested of people but these pizza cutting shears will hardly have the person who invented the pizza cutter shaking in their boots. Who looked at a perfectly good, round, easy to use pizza cutter and thought it needed to look more like scissors? No amount of tech PR is ever going to get any of these sold. I think sales of chocolate frying pans even look good compared to sales of this useless gadget.
2. Electric Candles
Candles are great. Electricity is great. But there will never be a need to combine the two. If you like the romantic ambience that a candle lit dinner creates then that’s fine and if you like the way electric lights let you see the things in your home then that’s fine also, but pick one or the other at any given time. The only way these will ever come in handy is if you have a power cut and you don’t have any matches to hand. But in this situation you better have some powerful batteries if you actually want to use your electric candles to see.
3. QuantumVet Tricorder Plus
Now, I love the animal kingdom as much as the next person but I can’t understand this need some humans have to interact with their pets and find out what they are thinking. It seems we put more effort into this than we ever do into learning the language of the people who live in the country we’re about to visit on holiday. This piece of technology claims to be able to use telepathic instructions from your pets to tell you what they need. I am using my telepathic powers now to strongly urge you not to buy this.
[Read also: 10 Amazing Robot Animals]
4. Retro Mobile Phone Handset
Mobile phone developers have spent years trying to establish technology to reduce the size of our phones and make them easier to carry around, but one person has destroyed all this hard work with one invention. The fact that this retro handset is twice the size of most mobiles is not even the worst thing about it. Who in their right mind is going to walk around with their phone in one pocket and a giant receiver jammed in the other and then have the person who rings them wait while they connect the two in order to have an ironic ‘retro conversation’? Although I have seen quite a few of these sold; no amount of tech PR or marketing is going to have them flying off the shelves or indeed make them any less pointless.